Wednesday, November 01, 2006

HAPPY TURKEY DAY

HAPPY TURKEY DAY

Roger A. Davis

This is another story of family mishap
Please enjoy this Thanksgiving rap
Fourth Thursday, 1962
We never even had a clue

Instead of grandparents as host
Aunt Joyce was the turkey to roast
But this was not to be
Forlorn, it was Chinese

We kids started to whine
Dad took us aside before we dined
Told us not to make a scene
Just try this cuisine

We gathered at the table
My stomach feeling very disabled
See, I had a unique nasal connection
Strange smells caused gastric rejection

We were a family of traditional eats
Meat, potatoes and dessert treats
Never had been exposed to Asian food
So there was constant complaining by our brood

Dad summoned us to the front room
We thought a spanking loomed
He surprised us instead
Said, "Hamburgers on the way home to be fed"

So three blocks from Joyce's
At the diner, a coke or milk were our choices
Not egg drop soup and hot tea
French fries, pass the ketchup to me

Every year after that turkeyless day
The expanding of my food groups, I must say
Now include most Oriental dishes
Yet on Thanksgiving, turkey and stuffing, MY WISHES!

A LEGEND IN HER OWN TIME

A LEGEND IN HER OWN TIME

Roger A. Davis

A Grand Marshal of the Medicine Lodge Peace Treaty
Was my great-grandmother, Mayme Holmes Grisby
She rode side-saddle to lead the pageant parade
On a Palomino, called Paula, of cream color shade

Her Chihuahuas were trophy winners across the nation
She also donated to the city, the house of Carry Nation
Mayme came West in a covered wagon, a baby pioneer
This was Grandmother Holmes, our dear

She was a wealthy lady, my grand
Greenhouse, gardens and mercantile store
Farms and ranches, there's more
Gas and oil was found on most of her land

She and her daughter, my Mama Cook, both shared a passion
And it wasn't the latest Paris fashion
They both were smitten by antique glassware
To shops and auctions, an 88 Olds hauled the pair

Her grandkids thought her greatest claim to fame
Was Mayme being a pro wrestling groupie dame
On Sundays, she would watch Channel 3
Wrestling, that's why she owned a TV

In Wichita, she went to see Pat O'Connor, the champion
Since she didn’t drive, she always needed a companion
But there was a problem, she thought it was all real
And she would get carried away by her zeal

Being in her 80s, she was seated in the front row
It was too much for her to be that close to the show
A dear sweet lady screaming at the bad guy foe
None of her family members really wanted to go

Viewing the televised matches, one Sunday afternoon
A tag team's closing count of three was coming soon
Wait, the choreography sent Texas Bob over the ropes
And is bloodied by a folding chair, do they think we're dopes?

Then, with our eyes we behold an old lady gone insane
She is hitting the bad guys and the referee with her cane
Another hand is pulling her back with the help of security
We weren’t sure, but later learned, Mayme, the person guilty

Grandmother Holmes was a legend in her own time
And I don’t do her life justice with this short rhyme
She gave me many gifts for my antique collections
But here is one of my favorite recollections

Her last dog was a Doberman Pinscher named Nick
Nobody in the family could understand her pick
When she sat in her favorite winged-back chair
Nick would try to get up with her and share

He was with her to the very end, proving again
Dogs are man and Grandmother Holmes' best friend
Here was a lady respected by many a generation
Whom we hold in fond and earthly veneration

ANATOMY ACADEMY

ANATOMY ACADEMY

Roger A. Davis

Headmaster, the brain
Dysfunction, migraine
Spinal column and cord
Used in bowing to milord

Ears, appendages for hearing
Top site for body piercing
Eyes, windows of the soul
Make-up eyeliner, kohl

Nose, the olfactory organ
Handy to find a bad smell’s origin
Mouth, opening for air and food
Also the seat of being misunderstood

Neck, the head's erector set
And lovely ones are not to be fret
Shoulder, scapula, collarbone
It's where I rest my telephone

Torso, place to hang legs and arms
Always fully covered by schoolmarms
They used a ruler to spank your hand
Or put your nose in a corner to stand

Swollen ankles and tired feet
The place where soles and floor meet
Ten fingers and toes, calculated math
Wash often to avoid staph

Here at the Academy of hard knocks
Our ills, like heartache and chickenpox
Teach us to whine and complain
Because of our low threshold for pain

Medical insurance and doctor bills
The ever rising cost of pharmacy pills
This is the human condition tuition
Kind of sad, death is graduation

ANTHOLOGY OF RAD

ANTHOLOGY OF RAD

Roger A. Davis

Do you have a collection of my prose?
If not, this is what I propose
Send me 19.95, and if you order now
I would have a cow

For if you are reading these pieces
You might be interested in my doctorial thesis
Send me 55000, and if you order soon
We’ll give you a brochure of our trips to the moon

I'm Doc Raddad, specialty undoing sad
If you have perused these fine lines
You may have given up a chuckle
Or laughed so hard your knees buckled

My joy is hitting reflex on your sense of humor
Imagining your mirth and the shaking of your girth
Because I'm my biggest fan, can't get enough
Immodestly I say, "Of RAD's funny stuff"

I'm enshrined in two Halls of Fame
One involves fake money and poker
The other a Super Hero Joker
If you would like the book, send your name

Over and over I'm told, "You need an anthology"
But it would have to include an ending apology
For if I have any talent, it's a gift not of myself
I'm just thankful I wasn't forgotten on the top shelf

Here again you are at Eden Prairie School
Reading prose from the A-team, no fool
So send us 20.06
We have 32 degrees from which to pick
This ... is ... so... cool ... !!!

BIG BROTHER, LIKE NO OTHER

BIG BROTHER, LIKE NO OTHER

Roger A. Davis

Who is it that you look up to?
For me, it is my brother
A family man like no other

He was three years ahead of me
And much more than that intellectually
Also had an outgoing personality

He got valedictorian high marks in school
I was way down on the gene pool
Yet, he was humble, that's cool

But pecking order had to be maintained of sorts
So when it came to neighborhood sports
Rick Davis ruled the courts

He was an all-around gifted athlete
And had a burning zeal to compete
Became state free throw champ, joining the elite

He was varsity center on the football team
Catcher for the American Legion baseball All Star team
Ran the Chicago Marathon later in life, fulfilling a dream

In the summer of my upcoming junior year
He helped me train to get ready to don the football gear
After working construction all day, he would forgo the beer

His greatest asset is Vicki, his beautiful bride
She is a lighthouse through life's ebb and tide
Three children and three grandkids give them much pride

Rick is not without fault, he can be nitpicky
Poor Vicki, living with a perfectionist can be tricky
But she defuses it by being snickeringly

On the rare occasion I gain one-upmanship
Rick banters back with sarcastical lip
This is one of my favorite aspects of our friendship

A few years ago, Rick was there in a special way
I had some medical problems and a hospital stay
He was there for us both night and day

We will always be grateful for his caring
Also to Vicki in opening her home and sharing
They are truly a heavenly host and hostess pairing

BIG ONE THAT GOT AWAY

BIG ONE THAT GOT AWAY

Roger A. Davis

Another family outing with a fishing theme
And this time, not a Colorado stream
Grand Lake O' The Cherokees, destination
For more of that fun and relaxation

This angler was going on nine
I could bait a hook just fine
Night crawlers were the temptation
Waiting for that jerking line sensation

Having no luck from the bank
I entered an enclosed dock by walking the plank
Four rails and a small concession stand
Hey, this was better than being on land

I had one rod and reel to try my luck
One guy was using twelve, that sucked
He occupied all of one side and a little more
Then I saw him leave for shore

Thinking they must be biting at that end
I got close and let my line descend
Leaning the pole against the wooden rail
I then set down my worm pail

Off to the concession counter I went
To get a Coke and candy bar, my intent
Never made it because I heard a commotion
The sound of fishing poles in locomotion

Six or seven rods in disarray
Here comes Roger running into the fray
Picking up mine, I started to reel
You can imagine how excited I did feel

As I'm cranking in my line, fighting the bass
Here comes the twelve pole jackass
He starts reeling in a line, too
But up comes six lines not two

He is ranting and raving to cut mine
I just keep on reeling my single line
We soon see an enormous sand bass rise
To my young angler eyes, it’s the grand prize

We get it on the deck and pole hog takes claim
So that's how the big one got away, what a shame
Went to find Dad for him to appeal
But couldn't locate him, what a bum deal

When I finally got back to the dock
That bully was gone lock and stock
So the biggest fish I ever caught in my youth
Was in cooperation with a jackass uncouth

MY COUNTRY, 'TIS OF THEE

MY COUNTRY, 'TIS OF THEE

Roger A. Davis

The DAR is about safeguarding our Liberty
That came about in the Paris Treaty of 1783
Finalized outcome of the American Revolution's discord
That had begun at Lexington and Concord

Their motto: “God, Home, and Country”
Examples: memorials and commissioned artworks in D.C.
Promoting flags and patriotism across our nation
Being there for immigrants during naturalization

Many have seen their preservation of U.S. History
Which includes a great database of genealogy
Twelve Madonna of the Trail sites and other routes
Marked for fame, is a monumental feat, without doubt

Yet, their greatest legacies are the Daughters
Descendants of Our Founding Fathers
And other patriots of the War
Opening each month their Chapter's door

I grew up in a Martha Vail Chapter abode
I, as a child, hit the Daughters mother lode
Great grandmother, grandmothers, mother and two sis
Were at one time on the membership list

That is why "My Country, 'Tis Of Thee"
Has much more meaning to me
It’s been properly handed down from each generation
By those who have cared about patriotic preservation

So now when I hear the Star Spangled Banner song
Each time I try to sing along
But I get choked up and cry
Thanking those who fought and died
For My Country
This Sweet Land of Liberty

TAFFY PULL

TAFFY PULL

Roger A. Davis

Old fashion fun on a winter's eve
Molasses based is better, I believe
Butter your hands and pair off
If you never tried it, don't scoff

A tug of war with candy
Some braided it, you had to be handy
Make bite size pieces before they cool down
Because big clumps cause a frown

Popcorn balls were also a blast
Making them with Mom is a memory of my past
Carmel coated is my favorite recipe
Remember wax paper, it being very sticky

School carnival's cakewalks were fun
That was how fundraisers were done
Our moms each made and donated a cake
The winner got to choose which one to take

Small prizes to be won at each booth
Bubblegum & hard candy for the sweet tooth
Chinese finger cuffs were cool
And helicopter pencils, a neat tool

In the summer a watermelon feed
Melons, horse tank with ice, less steed
Cut in 1/8's, no fork or plate
Eat and eat until sate

Drive-in movie was a special treat
Watching westerns from the back seat
Usually a cartoon and double feature
Don't forget to put back the speaker

Best of all was Teen Town dance
Where we did the Rock & Roll prance
The music putting us in an ecstatic trance
Yes, the oldies for me is an ongoing romance

THANKSGIVING

THANKSGIVING

Roger A. Davis

I am thankful for God, who created the earth
And ancestral Adam, who was made from its turf

I am thankful for the Pilgrims, who settled our shores
And the American Natives, who shared their stores

I am thankful for our patriots of each generation
And their often life-giving participation

I am thankful for this family holiday
And being able in this country to pray

I am thankful for my, my wife’s and son's health
And our financial and spiritual wealth

I am thankful for Mom, Dad and siblings
And our feast with all the trimmings

I am thankful for all my family and friend's caring
And this opportunity to say, "Thanks for your sharing"

So when you sit down to your turkey and dressing
Don't forget the Blessing

For this is what we were created to do
Give and be a blessing, too

YAWN AND STRETCH

YAWN AND STRETCH

Roger A. Davis

Good morning, Sunshine
Please remember to lift the lid
Would bacon and eggs be fine?

How did you start your day?
A walk to the PC for an email check
Or gave your hubby a peck?

Yesterday was overcast and gray
Today, hope to balance the checkbook
Ordered fast food, I'm not going to cook

Wash the clothes, comb my hair
Talked on the phone too long
There goes the doorbell, ding-dong

It was the pizza delivery man
It's afternoon and I'm still in my pj's
Yikes! Everyone will be home if no delays

All that are left are a couple of crusts
And we're all sprawled out in the TV room
DVD playing TEMPLE OF DOOM

I yawn and stretch
Nighty-night, it's upstairs to bed
I'm asleep as the pillow meets my head

Just wrote this for something to do
Exercised a different view
The feminine perspective - do you approve?