CODICIL FROM THE ASYLUM

CODICIL FROM THE ASYLUM

Roger A. Davis

MY LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT
I leave to science my collection of belly button lint
Eyes and ears, I’ll be one of those donors
Designated to government bureaucrats, The Boners

My red shag rug carpet of 40 years
Which has absorbed much spills and tears
May it be given to Exxon's CEO
For the next big leak, it will be ready to go

My assortment of keys that don’t fit anything
In my estate auction, see what they bring
Include my unknown electric appliance cords
And circa 50s, 70s and 90s ironing boards

My clothes, donate to a college sorority
Tell them to have a baggy party
Just think, my apparel on a pretty co-ed
Too bad I can’t be a guest; I’ll be dead

Now, for all my papers, receipts and files
Shred them and make two enormous piles
Kidnap a real tall man and woman, coat them in glue
Roll them in it and sell them as Mr. and Mrs. Bigfoot to a zoo

You see why I write this revision of my will
This mental institute is my home until
So please, these instructions must be carried out
As far as the rest of the millions there is no doubt

Setting up a fund for telemarketers
Hiring a secretary to handle those inquirers
She’s to buy what they are selling
How long my fortune will last, no telling

But when the last penny is spent
Put all those products in a giant circus tent
And have a big clearance sale
Then give the money to my imaginary friend, Chip Dale