CALICO, THE ONE I ADORE

Gem Crochet

It wasn’t your cute loud snore
Or your chronic cold sore
Or that you upchucked on my p.u. floor
No, it's because you have a new SUV 4X4

I love you with all my heart
Can't get enough of that other body part
It's your smile that gives me a jumpstart
You’re my little Kmart tart

Calico, you are my sweetie
And when I've had a few, pretty
I hope you like this country ditty
Done just for you, my Calico Kitty

Someday we will get officially hitched
Only been 5 years since Amy Sue, I ditched
Cally, it don't really help to bitch
Come to bed and turn off the light switch

What’s for supper, My Turtledove?
Calico answers, "What you want?"
"Cornbread and beans with molasses
Served, wearing nothing but your glasses"

Calico, your are my sweetie
And when I've had a few, pretty
I hope you like this country ditty
Done just for you, my Calico Kitty

Cheatin’ Heart on my John Deere radio
Sing along as I cultivate each row
Thinkin’ about my Blue-light Special, Calico
And that one extra toe

This weekend, we're off to the tractor pull
Got 2 six packs of Coors in the cooler, it's full
Cally wearin' cut-offs & Willie Nelson t-shirt
Everything looks, oh my, so pert

Never reached our destination
50 miles down the road, pulled my cell
Made a Motel 6 reservation
And drove like hell

Had a few, me and Kitty
My, my, she looks pretty
I sang her the country ditty
As I fondled her left, then right titty

It's such a pity
That this witty ditty
Will never see the light of day
Maybe under a pen name, okay?